After the first two debacles with online dating, I decided to go on an OKC break. Keep it running, but not pursue anything. Then, of course, the universe threw me a curveball. A very cute (cute, in like a dude way, not a "OMG he's so beautiful he will melt my eyeballs if I look at him" way), very successful (if he was honest about his income) man emailed me. Sent me something hilarious, and we all know I'm a sucker for someone who can make me laugh. We emailed back and forth, and I was already getting excited when I would see that I had a response from him. We talked before I left for a work trip in NYC. Great conversation, a lot of joking and laughing. I left for New York, then he left for Montana, so we made plans to meet almost a week and a half after we talked (side note: this was a BIG mistake, hope to never repeat it). We spent the entire time texting each other. It was ridiculous, I was like a little schoolgirl, giggling over his messages, showing my boss, feeling that little excited flutter whenever he would text me. I already was crushing, hard, before even meeting him. It made me that much more nervous about seeing him... what if he didn't like me? What if I didn't like him? What if the whole thing was a big disappointment?? There was already more pressure put on the situation than there needed to be, which I suppose is never a good thing.
Finally the date came... First of all, he was honest about his income. Beautiful house in a good part of LA, two silver Mercedes Benz cars, one 2-seater and one SUV ("they match!" He says... geeeeze). He was funny. He was a gentleman. He was affectionate, but in a good way. He took me to a really nice restaurant with fantastic tapas, but I honestly wouldn't have known it, as I was so distracted by the great conversation. This was going so well! Back to his place, we had a hot makeout session. I was excited. He was great! And yes, the thought of a man who could easily take care of me and a family I would like to some day have was very alluring. I was kind of in a daze about this guy, so I didn't right away wonder why he left things, after walking me to my car, with "I'll call you." The daze continued into the next morning, but by the afternoon the shadows set in when he hadn't contacted me. Not a text, not a call. Everyone told me I was too quick to get upset, but I knew. I felt it then. The cloudy daze had lifted, and it was clear.
To be fair, that night he texted me. But something was off. The next day, more texts, and more strangeness to them. He wasn't making plans for a second date. By day 3, I was about 90% certain, and decided to force his card so that I didn't spend all week just wondering what was going on. I asked him what he was doing that weekend. No response. Nothing. It's been a week, today I delete his number from my phone.
Goodbye, Rich Guy...
Post Script: I learned some very important lessons from this date. Number one, it is far more honorable to let someone know, even if it be via email or Facebook message, that you no longer want to see them, than to be weird, aloof and disappear. Number two, I don't have to be intimidated by someone who is well educated and successful. It is possible that I am just good enough to be in a relationship with someone like that. Number three, I am not ready, yet, to meet the guy I will be able to spend the rest of my life with. Some of my wounds are too fresh.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The PA
The PA. Nice boy. I say boy, even though he is 32 and older than me, but somehow I still can only call him a boy. He seemed to have a lot of quality insights, especially about spirituality, and he was obsessed with Bikram Yoga, which was impressive. He caught me in the middle of my two dates with the lawyer, so I was on an online dating high, and it took about two messages before I asked if he wanted to get drinks. We ended up having dinner, and he actually showed up in a collard shirt! Amazing! He also brought me a single red rose, which was very cute. We had great conversation, and in the middle of dinner, he wanted to hold my hands across the table. OK, a little awkward for me, but I was kind of loving the attention. Then he started in on the kissing of the hands. Ummm... ok.... just roll with it, Celine. He's just affectionate.
After dinner we walked around Hollywood a little. The kiss was actually good... not heart-stopping, but good! He held my hand, kept up that hand-kissing thing, and did the awkward walk-behind-me-with-arms-around-my-waist thing. As nice as that is, I can't stand how silly it makes people walk. So I just told him we should go back. We went to his apt and watched a movie. More kissing, and I did enjoy that. I left later, relatively happy with the date, then I started thinking about it... it felt a little odd to be soooo affectionate. Would I be able to hang with this guy at a bar with my friends, with him making out with the back of my hand?? Answer: probably not. Then it got serious...
He texted me frequently and wanted to call me every day. I had 2 events that week and the next, so I made it clear to him that I wouls be really really busy and may not be able to see him. His response was to "think outside the box" as he called it, I would call it "getting wayyy too involved in my personal space" - he wanted to come to my soccer game, come to my event, come to my house.... it was getting to be too much. I sent him a facebook message, telling him that I still had feelings for my ex, and as I know he was feeling strongly for me, it wouldn't be fair to keep dating him. I felt like I was breaking up with him. His response was "I hope this isn't a decision you'll regret" - Regret passing up a clingy, moves-to-fast, freelance Production Assistant who sells video phones on the side? Yah, that's doubtful. Thanks.
Goodbye, PA...
After dinner we walked around Hollywood a little. The kiss was actually good... not heart-stopping, but good! He held my hand, kept up that hand-kissing thing, and did the awkward walk-behind-me-with-arms-around-my-waist thing. As nice as that is, I can't stand how silly it makes people walk. So I just told him we should go back. We went to his apt and watched a movie. More kissing, and I did enjoy that. I left later, relatively happy with the date, then I started thinking about it... it felt a little odd to be soooo affectionate. Would I be able to hang with this guy at a bar with my friends, with him making out with the back of my hand?? Answer: probably not. Then it got serious...
He texted me frequently and wanted to call me every day. I had 2 events that week and the next, so I made it clear to him that I wouls be really really busy and may not be able to see him. His response was to "think outside the box" as he called it, I would call it "getting wayyy too involved in my personal space" - he wanted to come to my soccer game, come to my event, come to my house.... it was getting to be too much. I sent him a facebook message, telling him that I still had feelings for my ex, and as I know he was feeling strongly for me, it wouldn't be fair to keep dating him. I felt like I was breaking up with him. His response was "I hope this isn't a decision you'll regret" - Regret passing up a clingy, moves-to-fast, freelance Production Assistant who sells video phones on the side? Yah, that's doubtful. Thanks.
Goodbye, PA...
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Lawyer
Now that I've been single for almost 6 months, I have finally been feeling ready to date again. By "date again" I really mean "start dating for the first time in my life" as I have, up until now, gone from relationship to relationship. My ex is still majorly in the picture, we speak pretty much daily. That's a whole different blog post. For now, I'm just going to write about my dating escapades - the good, the bad and the ugly. Maybe blogging will contribute to my growth as well as helping me deal with this brand new world I am wading through. So I joined OKCupid.com, and decided to be open to meeting new people, dating, and trying out new things. The Lawyer is the first of my online dates...
The Laywer lives in Santa Barbara. Kinda far. Wasn't crazy about his pictures, he was the kind of guy that wears t-shirts too big for him, boardshorts with socks and shoes. yikes. But we had a lot of things in common, both from half-jewish families, both had major weight loss recently, both had a tough break up that led us to seek out therapy. Had a "phone date" which was nice, but there was something about his voice that I couldn't quite put my finger on. We met at a wine shop in Calabasas. How he convinced me to drive so far to meet in the middle, I will never know (oh, that's right, he just asked me to... such a pushover!). We had great conversation, he is sarcastic but sweet. The entire time, I was thinking that he reminds me of someone, but I couldn't place it... then I did. He reminds me of my neighbor across the street at my mom's house, as in they could be brothers and I would believe it. That is NOT a good thing. We walked, talked, and he finally kissed me. Unimpressed. Not that it was a bad kiss, it just didn't do anything for me. We went to dinner, talked more, and kissed goodbye. Again, nothing. But, I thought, I really enjoy his company, so maybe it was just a "first date" kind of thing, nerves or whatever. I'd give it a second shot.
Second shot was a picnic in the park in Calabasas. This guy is GOOD when it comes to creative dates, I definitely give him credit for that. But not so good with the clothing choices, he was wearing a red camoflauge t-shirt, jeans and sandels. Yikes. We talked, flirted, joked... again, just really had fun with him... then came another kiss. Nothing. Felt terrible, but more so just really wanted the kiss to end. Sent an email telling him I didn't feel the "spark."
Goodbye, Lawyer...
The Laywer lives in Santa Barbara. Kinda far. Wasn't crazy about his pictures, he was the kind of guy that wears t-shirts too big for him, boardshorts with socks and shoes. yikes. But we had a lot of things in common, both from half-jewish families, both had major weight loss recently, both had a tough break up that led us to seek out therapy. Had a "phone date" which was nice, but there was something about his voice that I couldn't quite put my finger on. We met at a wine shop in Calabasas. How he convinced me to drive so far to meet in the middle, I will never know (oh, that's right, he just asked me to... such a pushover!). We had great conversation, he is sarcastic but sweet. The entire time, I was thinking that he reminds me of someone, but I couldn't place it... then I did. He reminds me of my neighbor across the street at my mom's house, as in they could be brothers and I would believe it. That is NOT a good thing. We walked, talked, and he finally kissed me. Unimpressed. Not that it was a bad kiss, it just didn't do anything for me. We went to dinner, talked more, and kissed goodbye. Again, nothing. But, I thought, I really enjoy his company, so maybe it was just a "first date" kind of thing, nerves or whatever. I'd give it a second shot.
Second shot was a picnic in the park in Calabasas. This guy is GOOD when it comes to creative dates, I definitely give him credit for that. But not so good with the clothing choices, he was wearing a red camoflauge t-shirt, jeans and sandels. Yikes. We talked, flirted, joked... again, just really had fun with him... then came another kiss. Nothing. Felt terrible, but more so just really wanted the kiss to end. Sent an email telling him I didn't feel the "spark."
Goodbye, Lawyer...
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